Shakespearean Insults

“When I know not what else to do, I’ll see thee again.” — Timon of Athens

“Sell when you can, you are not for all markets.” — As You Like It

“Pray you stand farther from me.” — Antony and Cleopatra

“He excels his brother for a coward, yet his brother is reputed one of the best that is.” — All’s Well That Ends WellShakespeare thinking of an insult

“Idol of idiot-worshipers!” — Troilus and Cressida

“[He] speaks an infinite deal of nothing, more than any man in all Venice. His reasons are as two grains of wheat hid in two bushels of chaff: you shall seek all day ere you find them; and when you have them, they are not worth the search.” — Merchant of Venice

“You are not worth another word, else I’d call you knave.” — All’s Well That Ends Well

“When there is nothing living but thee, thou shalt be welcome.” — Timon of Athens

“The kiss you take is better than you give; Therefore, no kiss.” — Troilus and Cressida

“One that lies three thirds and uses a known truth to pass a thousand nothings with, should be once heard and thrice beaten.” — All’s Well That Ends Well

“Till I have no wife I have nothing.” — All’s Well That Ends Well

“Thy mother’s name is ominous to children.” — Richard III

“We know each other well.”
“We do, and long to know each other worse.” — Troilus and Cressida

“Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon!” — Timon of Athens

“I would not marry her, though she were endowed with all that Adam had left him before he transgressed.” — Much Ado About Nothing

“Down, down to hell; and say I sent thee thither.” — Henry VI, part 3

“If thy offences were upon record,
Would it not shame thee, in so fair a troop,
To read a lecture of them?” — Richard II

“It is my study to seem despiteful and ungentle to you.” — As You Like It

“‘Tis such fools as you that makes the world full of ill-favour’d children.” — As You Like It

“Thank heaven, fasting, for a good man’s love:
For I must tell you friendly in your ear,–
Sell when you can: you are not for all markets.” — As You Like It

“In our last conflict four of his five wits went halting off, and now is the whole man govern’d with one.” — Much Ado About Nothing

“You are such a woman! one knows not at what ward you lie.” — Troilus and Cressida

“All villains that do stand by thee are pure.” — Timon of Athens

“They say he is a very man per se,
And stands alone.”
“So do all men,—unless they are drunk, sick, or have no legs.” — Troilus and Cressida

“Why am I a fool?”
“Make that demand to the Creator. It suffices me that thou art.” — Troilus and Cressida

“He has not so much brain as ear wax.” — Troilus and Cressida

“Dost thou hear, my honest friend?”
“No, I hear not your honest friend; I hear you.” — Othello

“You, mistress,
That have the office opposite to Saint Peter,
And keep the gate of hell!” — Othello

“I never see thy face but I think upon hell-fire.” — Henry IV, part 2

“I’ll beat thee, but I should infect my hands.” — Timon of Athens

“[Your] horrid image doth unfix my hair.” — Macbeth

“I think the devil will not have [you] damned, lest the oil that’s in [you] should set hell on fire.” — The Merry Wives of Windsor

“I am well acquainted with your manner of wrenching the true cause the false way.” — Henry IV, part 2

“Though [he] is not naturally honest, [he] is so sometimes by chance.” — The Winter’s Tale

“You are not worth the dust that the rude wind blows in your face.” — King Lear

“Your horse would trot as well were some of your brags dismounted.” — Henry V

“Thou wilt fall backward when thou hast more wit.” — Romeo and Juliet

“[You’re] a fusty nut with no kernel.” — Troilus and Cressida

“What a disgrace it is to me to remember thy name.” — Henry IV, part 2

“All that is within him does condemn itself for being there.” — Macbeth

“Were I like thee I’d throw away myself.” — Timon of Athens

“As from a bear a man would run for life,
So fly I from her that would be my wife.” — Comedy of Errors

“You sir, are a fishmonger!” — Hamlet

A Midsummer Night’s Dream

“Ay, me. You juggler! You canker blossom!” — Hermia

“You maid of hindering knot grass. You bead! You acorn!” — Lysander

“Fie, fie, you counterfeit. You puppet, you!” — Helena

“Get gone, you dwarf!” — Lysander

Also see The Personalized Shakespearean Insult Service.